I normally enjoy long flights but OMG this one was fecking awful!
At first I thought it was going to be pleasant, the flight was stacked and I mean seriously stacked with enough hotties to make a Sean Cody scene look pale. Those european back packers are hella fit!
Sadly it was not to be.
The first leg of the flight was 12 hours of bumping elbows and bad breath. I had booked an aisle seat when I bought my ticket but ended up sandwiched between two passengers, one of whom had the aisle but still insisted on conquering both arm rests and spreading his legs to accommodate what I can only assume were his elephant sized balls. I’m normally pretty zen about these situations. You can’t do anything about it, so you just get on with the business of getting it done. But I have to admit the vengeful streak in me did wait until he drifted off to sleep at least 3 times before I “needed” to go to the bathroom.
The stop in Abu Dhabi was a welcome chance to stretch my legs but by this time I could feel a fever setting in. Sometimes travel feels good, the dry skin and the haze behind your eyes can in it’s own way feel romantic (I must still be feverish). A hot Arabic security guard with his tight uniform, perfect physique and amazing arms left me contemplating the benefits of a full cavity search. Then it was off for another 7 hours of hell.
But I’m here in London and the combination of airplane air-conditioning, cooler weather and sleep deprivation got the better of me. My landing has been hard to say the least. I have been in bed for the last 3 days. Today is the first day where I feel like I could conquer the world again.
I did manage in one of my more lucid moments to go for a walk. Dressed in 5 layers of as much woolen clothing as I could muster, I headed down in to central London. Between moments of stunned awe and fevered coughing fits I strolled along the River Thames. Big Ben gave me chills, I couldn’t help reaching out to touch the stone of Parliament just to check that it was real and Westminster abbey is beautiful.
I think I am going to like it here a lot. It’s enough like home to feel welcoming but different enough to still be a little bit scary.
Thanks to everyone who has emailed or commented and wished me well for this move. I’m back onboard now and will be responding to the hundred or so emails waiting for me over the next few days.