For a long time I used to wish that I was taller, bigger and heavier. I worked out 6 days a week and stuffed myself with protein shakes, chicken breasts and egg whites. My weight and size has gone up and down for years. It was all about vanity and the belief that the only way to get hot muscles guys was to be a hot muscle guy. I beat myself up every day for not looking like a fitness model.
In the last 6 months I have barely been to the gym. I have stuck with home workouts, pushups, crunches and squats. My size and weight has decreased but my self esteem has increased. I think that the difference is that I’m not going to the gym and constantly saying to myself “my pecs are too small, his arms are so much bigger than mine, his legs are awesome why aren’t mine like that?
In the last 6 months I have met some stunning guys. Guys who I thought wouldn’t look twice at me because I’m not 95kg of pure muscle. Who would have thought that there would be so many muscle guys out the who like having a smaller guy to throw around, but it’s true.
A little bit of scruff is in at the moment and the things about my look that I used to see as undesirable have now become assets to me. I used to hate my mixed looks, now I appreciate them for their uniqueness. I used to dread my slim frame but now I appreciate my shape much more because I know that there are a lot of guys out there who like slim. I used to dread aging, but now I appreciate that my older look is attracting more of the kinds of guys I like to me. I used to dread my scruff, now I love it.
Everybody likes something different. I’m not attracted to everybody I meet and so it only makes sense that not everyone is going to be attracted to me. It’s nothing personal, I know it because It’s not personal when I’m not attracted to someone either, attraction is a funny thing.
I saw an old friend of mine recently. He’s been working out like crazy, now he’s massive. I think he used to be beautiful, slim, blonde and charming. Now he’s too big and what were classic good looks have been replaced by muscles that blend in with every other muscle boy out there. He lost his uniqueness.
I think my growing maturity when it comes to myself and the way I look has been a big factor in my change of perception about myself and where my looks fit in to the community. As I become older and more confident I am less inclined to want to fit the mould and look like everybody else. Standing out from the crowd has been far more successful for me.
So if you’re sitting there thinking, I wish I was bigger, don’t. Skinny boys are hot, own it and choose your own look!