Gay 101. It’s okay to be a skinny bitch if you’re healthy.

I first published this post in 2013 after reading a comment made by prominent LGBTQ youtuber at the time. He said, “nobody likes a skinny bitch”. It made me mad because he had such a big platform at the time that there were surely some young men out there who likely read what he said and felt like they were not good enough.

I’m also aware that this site fuels it’s fair share of unhealthy body images as well which is why I ditched the hottie of the week posts and I hope to do better in the future. It’s a drop in the ocean, but I hope I have written enough on my own struggles with body image for those of you who are long time readers to know, that the high and low tides of my confidence have been a journey that I wanted to share.

Still the message in this post is just as important to me now as it was back then.

Time travel back to 2013…

With all the focus on muscles and getting ripped it would be easy for skinny guys to feel just because they don’t have killer pecs and big biceps that they are “unhealthy” or undesirable.

Muscles aside even just being on the slim side of average can sometimes leave us feeling like we’re not fit enough, especially when the media is full of muscular guys. There is also the toxic message that muscles and size equal masculinity. With all the focus on how we look on the outside it’s easy to forget that our outward appearance is also a reflection of our inner health.

You don’t have to look like Superman to feel like Superman, and you don’t have to look like Superman to be healthy.

Being healthy is more important than being buff.

I don’t like the term skinny bitch. It’s used far too often as a put down. What is a skinny bitch anyway?

There are plenty of big guys out there who can’t run a lap of the block, buffer doesn’t mean healthier. The most healthy and the most fit I have ever been was when I was playing Waterpolo. I felt alive every day and at a spritely 63kgs I wasn’t by any means “Buff”.

Everybody has a different body type. Some of us are larger, some are skinnier, taller, shorter etc. What matters more than being bigger is being healthy. If you are naturally a “skinny bitch” then so be it. Eat well, keep fit and exercise and you will still feel amazing. There is nothing wrong with being healthy just the way you are. There are so many trainers out there telling us get bigger, bulk up, eat to gain blah blah blah. It would be easy to think that the only way to be worth anything is to weigh something. Rubbish.

So if you are one of those “Skinny bitches” don’t ever be afraid to own it. Eat good food, get some exercise and worry about being healthy first. Your inner glow will give you all you need to impress.

And finally back to the present…

If we all just looked like we fell out of the cookie cutter then life would be boring.

 

I’ve spent most of my life watching my body yoyo between slim and buff and been constantly on the roller coaster of self loathing. For a long time I hated my body and there are still things I look at everyday and feel my heart sink. It’s not worth it. Punishing yourself for not looking like an Instagram model everyday is exhausting and wasted time in the end. It doesn’t matter what you look like and it will never matter how much you workout if you don’t learn to love your body and its faults.

It’s not easy to care for ourselves when we are constantly surrounded by bullshit fitness influencers and junk Gym cultures that are all using our insecurities to sell us something. Be aware of it and learn to recognise it. It’s not easy but I think we all need to get a little better at it.