I was asked a question by a reader who wanted to know if it was normal for a young man not to be interested in Sex. He asked if he was wasting his chance to have a good time.
There is a lot of pressure on young men to engage in Sex, peer pressure can be intense. Let’s face it nearly every event, every night out, every parade and every party is a sexually charged atmosphere.
Sex is something that is very personal and everybody is ready for it at different times. There is nothing wrong with saving yourself for somebody special or not being interested in it at all. You shouldn’t feel pressured to have sex by anyone.
Sex whether casual or otherwise has both emotional and physical consequences. When we have Sex with somebody, no matter how casual it may be we are still opening ourselves up to a level of intimacy that makes us vulnerable.
The idea that we should be out having Sex while we are young otherwise we will miss out is nonsense. Having an active satisfying sex life is about the quality of interactions not the quantity or the age at which your having them.
Sure you might think that having lots of hot sex while you are still firm and bouncy is going to be the most fun but there are many mature Gay men having amazing Sex lives. Firm and bouncy doesn’t always make great Sex. Intimacy, attentiveness and chemistry does.
Not being ready to have Sex or not being interested in Sex is not something to feel bad about.
It’s ok to wait.
It’s ok to want more than a casual encounter.
It’s ok to keep Sex as something special.
It’s ok to not be casual about casual Sex.