I recently read an article on LiveScience about the sexual and psychological health of those in to BDSM opposed to those only in to Vanilla.
It’s an interesting read.
What ever your preference in the bedroom there is no doubt that being open to experimentation with your partner can have benefits for your relationship as a whole.
We all have fantasies about things we want to try in and out of the bedroom. Some may be more Vanilla than others but most of us have things we have always been curious about.
Many of these needs never find a voice for fear that we will be laughed at or that our partner might turn their nose up and go eeew. Communication is one of the most important aspects of a good relationship, another is knowing that your relationship is a safe place where you can express your needs and desires to your partner without fear of judgement and vice versa.
This doesn’t mean that you are always going to agree or be interested in the same things, but being able to talk about them is important. If we feel that our partners are preventing us from expressing our desires then we can begin to feel resentful. This doesn’t mean that we should expect our partners to just accept everything we want either. If we find that we want something that our partner does not then it is up to us to decide whether or not we can live with that, but at all times being able to talk about it is what matters.
Next time your partner, better half, boyfriend or husband tries to tell you about a fantasy or talk about experimenting in the bedroom suppress your urge to blush and change the subject, and just listen.
Communication needs exercise. If you find that it’s not working then keep at it. Some people are just not natural sharers but as confidence builds you may find that your sex life and your relationship benefits the benefits of a little bit of thoughtful listening may not only spice up your sex life but as trust and openness grows in your relationship you may find that your communication improves as well.