>Gay 101. YOU’RE NOT FAT!


How many times have you called a friend of yours a FAT BITCH?

I have noticed lately just how much my friends and I call each other fat. It seems to have become just another way that we rib, insult and pick on each other. It’s all in jest but it occurred to me that it is indicative of a much deeper problem.

It’s easy to make some off hand comment to a friend who decides to indulge in a piece of cake, or other junk food. We have all done it… “oh you fat bitch”. Again it’s said off hand and often with affection but what is it really saying?

Fat in the bodycentric Gay community is just another way that we beat ourselves up for not looking like the ripped muscle dude on the cover of DNA magazine.

We have all said it… “I feel so fat”.

Even friends of mine who are super fit or in shape will look at themselves and say “I’m so fat”.

What is it that drives perfectly healthy guys to look at their bodies and say “Im so fat”?

For young people body issues can become particularly hard to deal with. I am the first to admit that part of the reason I started hitting the gym was for my own vanity. I used to go out all the time and see guys who were far hotter and buffer having an amazing time. I thought that if I was buff and if I was hot then that could be my life too. I thought that it would make me desirable.

What I realized as I got older was that this was a fantasy. The people who have truly been my friends through thick and thin were there long before I started hitting the weights and the guys who have dropped in for a quick Woohoo because they liked the way I look in a speedo haven’t really made an impact on my life.

So now when I hit the gym it is less about vanity and more about staying fit and healthy. I actually like the way I feel after a workout.

Most people will blame the media, and others will blame a community obsessed with Youth and beauty. But these are just symptoms of a much larger issue.

The simple truth is YOU’RE NOT FAT. If you’re a size 30 waist and weigh 60kg,  unless your Tom Thumb then you’re not fat. Get yourself a dose of reality and understand that your body issues are the result of billions upon billions of advertising dollars all poured in to the media to make you feel shitty about yourself so that you will go out and fill that void with food and “stuff”.

There are those out there who are genuinely over weight, but there are plenty of over weight people who are happy. Happiness and self respect don’t only come to gym bunnies. It is about realizing that you are beautiful just the way you are. It is about being successful, it is about helping others, it is about achieving your goals and living a life true to your authentic self.

Sure the road to self acceptance is a hard one. There is so much pressure in todays world to be the “cookie cutter” equivalent of what is beautiful. Not everybody wants a pumped up muscle man or a waif thin Twink.

Remember beauty may be in the eye of the beholder but it also comes from within.