>Life is not black and white


Every day I am asked questions by readers like

How do I know if I am gay?
When should I come out?
How do I know if I am ready?
How do I know what to do with my life?
Chicken or beef?

Life is not black and white. If there is one thing that I have learned in my limited time here it is that everything is part of a process of growth both personal and physical.

So often in life we are expected to know what we want;

When we leave high school we are expected to know what career we want to pursue.
When we are asked about our sexual preference we are expected to know, Gay or Straight.
When our parents expect us to know what we want to do with our life.

I often get mail from young guys who are angry or confused because they don’t know who they are, what they want or if they are gay and any number of life’s questions.  There is so much pressure on young people to say “this is who I am”. The result is that we pigeon hole ourselves or bend to stereotypes that help us identify with communities around us. The anger comes from the feelings of loss of identity.

To those young people reading this post I say;

Knowing is not as important as the process of discovering. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself to have all the answers. I know adults who have no idea who they are.

So much of life is a grey area where the exploring is worth more to us than anything else.  Exploring is where we really discover who we are. How we react to being outside of our comfort zone forms the basis of our character.

Know thy self is a famous phrase but part of knowing thy self, is understanding that there is always something new to learn about yourself.

So for me I say;

this is who I am for now
this is what I want at the moment

Who I am and what I want changes almost as much as I change my underwear, but thats what makes life interesting.

trust in the journey.

I wish you all happiness and abundance.