People ask me if I’m happy and I reply; happy is just one of the emotions I experience everyday. Somedays it’s more and somedays it’s less.
Lately I’ve been in a bit of a downer and it’s been hard work to keep myself positive. Last weekend was a trigger and although I’ve been pretty good at maintaining my mood over the last 10 days it has left me feeling tired and uninspired. The truth is that I’m having to work hard and be very careful not to fall back in to the same funk that I fell in to last time I was here. It’s cold, I’m tired, I’m a bit lonely and inevitably I’m feeling a bit sorry for myself.
I really wonder if it’s worth setting my life on fire every six months to come here for work.
Some good things to report though.
I’m a Gunkle again and my new little Nephew is doing well.
My room is finally starting to come together now that I have got myself some comfortable bedding and collected some of my things including a bag full of underwear from the friends who were taking care of my stuff. It makes such a difference to feeling at home when you are surrounded by a few of your things.
Work is tough but still fun.
I’ve joined a gym here again. It wasn’t cheap but I figure fuck it. If it helps keep my mental health on track then it’s work every penny. It’s not too far from home and I can go on the way to work which means you can expect to finally see some action on my Instagram feed again.
I’m starting to feel my Mojo coming back which means more Members posts are on the way. My funk has meant that I’ve been really uninspired lately to post anything in the Members section. I’m in two minds about this. It’s important to me to post regular content for the members but I also want that content to be of a certain quality and if I’m not inspired or feeling good about it then it’s not going to be the best I can make it. The balance between regular content and quality content is a tricky one to find.
Thank you to everyone who has been sending me messages to make sure I’m okay and to voice you support. It really does help a lot.
I’m feeling better already than I did when I started writing this post.