Gay 101. It’s sex not porn.

The fucking was furious, the top had the bottom by the ankles, legs spread while he went so deep and so hard the bottoms entire body shuddered as the sounds of flesh slapping on flesh echoed around the locker room.

This my friends is porn and this is why a whole generation of young gay men think that great sex starts with kissing, then sucking, then rimming, more sucking, anal penetration, dirty talk and finally finishes with ejaculation in a guys arse, mouth or less popularly eye. Like some kind of IT boffins flow chart for installing your WIFI, sex has become a formula. With very little genuine discussion about what sex is, and an over abundance of horny men doing wilder and wilder things on camera for audiences that are becoming increasingly desensitised, young Gay men are using easily accessible porn as their reference for hot to make the beast with 2 backs.

When you are having sex fantasies can be fun, but remember porn is entertainment and is filmed over many takes with lighting, scripts (LOL), and some kind of direction. It is entertainment and is designed deliberately to arouse and titillate so that you will pop in your credit card details and spend your hard earned cash.

Real sex is messy, it’s sometimes awkward, it can be really hot and really disappointing. Sex can involve sports injuries, poorly timed elbows and teeth. The fun of sex is the element of play and exploration. If you are worried that you are not having great sex because you didn’t blow 4 times in 20 minutes like the guy on Corbin Fisher or your arse doesn’t look flawless in the mirror then it’s very likely that your impression of what good sex is has been skewed.

Good sex is as much about being in tune with your partner as it is about position, speed and ejaculation. The rise of “homemade” porn sites and the popularity of Xtube is a good indication that actual sex can be far more satisfying than the over glamourised, perfectly lit sex you see on many porn sites today. Sex doesn’t always have to end with an orgasm or involve anal penetration. I once had a guy, famously (because I tell this story every time) make me blow just my chewing on my ear and licking my back… It was great sex.

So remember guys, drop the script, abandon the formula and do whats feels good for your partner and yourself. Ask them what they like, moan a little when you like their moves, communicate, and if you accidentally crush a nut or elbow them in the head, laugh about it and keep going.