Last weekend I attended another leather and fetish party and had an absolute ball. Naturally I was wearing only a fraction of the material required to make a handkerchief, my harness, and as it was a fetish party… a puppy tail (I’ll leave that one to your imaginations).
The puppy tail was a hit. Needless to say it was wagging a lot.
But I digress.
It made me think about the do’s and don’ts of underwear parties and with Pride here in Melbourne and Mardi Gras in Sydney fast approaching, the season for underwear parties is just around the corner.
Even if you are elsewhere in the world there is always some kind of party in underwear going on somewhere.
Selecting what you are going to wear at an underwear party is important because most people don’t feel comfortable wearing so little in a night club. Choosing the right outfit will boost your confidence and I dare say help you get a little more fun than you expect. Personal taste should rule the day here. Wear what you are comfortable wearing. If you can handle a jock strap then go for it, if you want something a little more conservative then boxer briefs are the way to go.
The thing to remember is that it’s all about context. Most of us could comfortably wear a speedo to the pool or a pair of shorts. Most likely you will be wearing the same amount of material at the party. I often remind myself of this to keep things in perspective when I feel a little too slutty about what I am wearing.
Wear what you feel comfortable in… don’t feel pressured in to showing more than you want too or spending hundreds of dollars on designer wear that nobody will see in a poorly lit club anyway. Remember confidence is sexy you are already amazing so strut and don’t worry too much about brands.
Strut… work it baby. I used to beat myself up because I didn’t look like a DNA cover model. The last underwear party I went to in Sydney there was the most amazing looking guy in a jock strap. He was perfection. At the end of the night he was at the sauna just like everybody else. People all look for something different, you’re already somebodies wank material so own it.
Laugh and enjoy yourself… Everybody is in their underwear so there is no need to worry about feeling out of place. Everybody will be just as nervous and just as in need of validation as you are. I know I am.
Have a back up outfit… If you are not so confident then have a back up outfit. Chances are you are not going to travel there in your underwear so keep a spare pair of something a little more conservative in your bag. At least you can change half way through the night. Everybody will think you are so clever. It’s worked for me.
Think about where you are going to keep your phone and wallet… your going to be wearing your underwear. That means no pockets and a phone bouncing around is likely to damage your junk, get dropped and break, short circuit from the sweat and electrocute your balls, as well as be a down right pain. A handful of coins in the crotch of your underwear isn’t a good look either. A favourite trick of mine is to wear long socks and tuck my phone and wallet in to them, or you can buy armbands from most sports stores.
Have a buddy… taking a buddy or a crew is a great way to ease yourself in and keep you feeling in your comfort zone. If you all dress in theme you are less likely to feel nervous.
Don’t wear a thong… just don’t.
Don’t let your hands wander all around the party… yes it’s an underwear party but it’s still a night out and you don’t want to lose your watch in somebodies jockstrap. There will be plenty of wandering hands on the dance floor but you don’t want to be the creepy guy, be respectful.
Don’t flick the straps of peoples jocks… Seriously dude.
Don’t wear a thong… just don’t.
Don’t wear a cock ring, bulge enhancer or anything else that offers up your junk on a platter… They look fake and fake is generally unattractive.
Don’t not shower… Sweaty is sexy after the gym but not when you arrive at the party. Remember you are going to be wearing very little and there won’t be much between you and the other party goers. Freshen up before hand.
Don’t reply to the guy who asks what you are wearing with “my lucky underwear”… all it says is that you have been wearing them possibly unwashed for far too long and that you need divine help to score. “My straight room mates football jock” sounds much better.
So there you have it, a few do’s and don’t for you to consider when you head to your next underwear party. There are more but I think you will have fun discovering them for yourself. Remember, be happy and smile. Enjoy yourself. Happy smiling people will attract happy smiling people. Look for the best in others and it will bring out the best in yourself, everybody there will be looking for some kind of validation. Your Underwear and body are just the packaging what really matters is whats inside and a smile and a laugh are your best advertisements.
Party on fellow Space Time Travellers.