Gay 101. What happens when your family or friends and your boyfriend don’t see eye to eye?

After the flesh fest of the last few days it’s time for something serious.

To many of us family is everything, but what happens when your family and the one you love don’t see eye to eye?

It can be over small things or over big, but whatever the reason when your family and your lover don’t connect it can be a source of great stress. The love and acceptance of family is important but so is our love for our partners.

There are too many reasons why your family, a single family member or your friends might not get along with your boyfriend to cover here and the situation might be more serious than I know, but here a few things that I think are good to remember.

Nothing is trivial.

Sometimes we think that the small things are not worth worrying about, but for others they can be very important. Talk with your family and friends and to your boyfriend about what is going on and how they are feeling. It may be that keeping the lines of communication open and talking about what is bothering them is the quickest way to resolve it. Small things if left unattended can snowball and leave you wondering where it all went wrong.

Communicate.

As I mentioned communication is important. You may not be able to get them to talk to each other but at least you can act as a mediator if you know what is going on. You might be able to help by providing a sympathetic ear or offering a fresh perspective on the situation. Perhaps there is a reason for their behaviour that the other is not aware of, but if they were made aware might bring greater understanding.

Don’t accept childishness.

There may come a point where you just need to tell them to man up. If they care about you then they should be able to set aside any differences for the one they care about. It’s not a bad thing to be a little selfish here. Taking a strong position may help to set the standard for how you expect your partner, friends and your family to conduct themselves, “This person is my partner, you don’t have to like him but I expect you to treat me and him with respect”, or “this is my family, you don’t have to love them but please respect me and them”.

Avoid taking sides.

In most situations it’s best not to take sides. You love and care about both parties so try not to allow them to pit you against the other. In the long term you do not want to allow anyone to drive a wedge between you and your family or the one you love.

It may happen that eventually the situation becomes unbearable and you will have to make a tough decision. Always remember though that you deserve to be happy and you deserve to be loved. What you want is more important that what your family or your friends want. It’s your life to live and your heart to follow. Don’t give up the people in your life that you cherish without a having a go first.