“Hey Shannon sad as it sounds I’ve been in a relationship for over a year and a half of that and have worked a hell of a lot, and I’ve lost an active social life because of it. Any suggestions or tips for making mates while in a relationship?”
The question is a good one and goes to a much larger issue I think. How do we maintain that balance between our work, love and our social lives? We have all seen it happen. We meet someone, or a friend of ours meets someone and we and they seem to drop off the radar. Similarly it can happen with work. A new job or a new project takes our attention away from family and friends as we focus on what needs to be done. For me right now I am very focussed on work, I have allowed my social life to take back stage while I strive to achieve other goals.
To answer your question I would suggest this,
Maintain the friendships you have. Keeping the mates you have is easier than making new ones sometimes. Friendships like relationships take care and nurturing. I have to admit that I have not seen some of my friends in a long time but we always take the time to send a brief Facebook message to let each other know that we have not forgotten. Emails and messages take very little time but I always look forward to hearing about my friends adventures. Think about how much time you spend in front of the television or staring at a computer screen. Multi task… say hello.
New friends can come from all kinds of places. New friends at work can be great. They improve the work environment and you already have something in common but for these friendships to evolve in to the genuine connections I suspect you are seeking then you need to put in a little TLC. Get them out of the office and go have an adventure together. Friendships are built on mutual shared experience and interest. Be committed to your friendships.
I have to admit that I can sometimes be neglectful of my friends because of work. Be committed to maintaining them and remember that a life without play is a dull life indeed.
When you are in a relationship you gain all of your partners friends. Play an active roll in engaging with them. It will help to strengthen your relationship and increase your own circle. Be sure to look after your own friends as well, if the relationship sours then you don’t want to suddenly find out all your friends were his.