A life of free living is not a phase, it is a conscious decision to live each moment in a mindful nourishing way. It is how I see my world and I don’t intend to grow out of it. Evolve maybe, but never grow out of it. How could it be a phase? As though I could wake up one morning and say to myself “I think I’m tired of being free, time to grow up and climb back in to a pigeon hole”. Thats simply not me.
What does my life of free living mean for me?
Henry Miller said
“The aim of life is to live and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware”
This is how I see my life. Sex certainly is a large part of it, I enjoy it, I have it and I write about it. But it is not all there is to me and it is certainly not what my life is all about. To presume that my sense of self worth is based on how much sex I am having is a huge assumption based on a very small amount of information.
I have wondered in the past if the openness I show in my life, not only when it comes to sex but the way in which I share my thoughts and my experiences would effect my relationships? I am an open person, there is not much about me that I do not share but this is who I am. Some guys find this hard to deal with. They feel uncomfortable with how “out there” I am. The simple fact is they are not meant for me, and I could never stifle myself to be with somebody. I have tried it before. It doesn’t work.
I share my life and my adventures through the blog in the hope that those people reading it will gain something from it for themselves. I hope that people will realise that they share some of the same experiences, thoughts and insecurities that I do. And I hope that they will also come to understand as I have that we are not all so different when it come to what makes us truly happy.
MY sense of self worth comes from many things. Yes my ability to attract guys is part of it but so is my charity work, so is my art, so is my sense of integrity, so is my sense of honour and social justice, so is my care for the world we live in, the way I treat others, the way I help others through the blog, the way I help raise awareness about GLBTI issues that are important to me, the way I promote safe sex, the way I seek to lift others, the way I contribute to the world, the way I seek beauty in moments and small things and…
it comes from that place inside me that says I can achieve great things if only I believe in my self.
It’s not a phase. It’s a state of being and of consciousness and I have no intention of leaving this wonderful place.