Gay 101. How to be a better Bottom.

Okay so following on from my last article on how to be a better Top, I thought I should give all you Bottom boys out there the same treatment.

Bottoming ( being fucked ) is just as much fun as Topping ( fucking ), and if done right can be the gateway to sensual delights man hath not even dreamed of. 🙂

There are always new ways in which you can be a better bottom. As a versatile boy I get the best of both worlds and I want to share with you some of the tricks that I have picked up during my shannonigans.

Before we co any further we need to get the uncomfortable stuff out of the way. It may be yucky to think about but there is no point proceeding any further without having first discussed “preparation”. Lots of people avoid talking about this part and yet funnily enough it is the thing I get asked about the most. Getting yourself ready to bottom is important both for your comfort and peace of mind. It will be impossible to relax if you are worrying about having an “accident”.

The subject of douching is something that lots of Gay boys avoid and lets face it, it’s not a topic often covered in regular conversation. But every good bottom should know what it is. Basically douching is the process of cleaning out your insides. Usually it involves some kind of variation on a squirt bottle or hose inserted in to the anus. Water is then used to flush out any material leaving your insides clean. It might seem a bit icky, but when you consider the alternative it’s worth it.

Whether you are using a douche purchased from a sex shop ( I recommend the Colt pictured here ), or a bottle of mineral water ( still not sparkling, dear god not sparkling ) You will need to insert the nozzle into your hole and being careful not to let water spill everywhere, squirt as much warm water as is comfortable up there. Do NOT use soap or any other kind of chemical or fragrance.

Hold the water in there for about 20 seconds. You can rub your stomach gently or jump up and down a few times if you want, then sit on the toilet and purge.

Repeat the process until the water comes out clear.

Shower, relax and  you are ready to star in your own Gangbang video.

You will know your body and how it reacts. Sometimes it’s quick and easy, others times not so much. Also be careful not to over do it and give yourself the runs (disgusting I know but worth mentioning ). Try to allow at least an hour before sex to let everything settle down again.

For more information on the side effects of douching check out this post

There, icky stuff done, now on to the fun stuff.

Whether you are bottoming for the first time or you are more experienced here are some tricks I have picked up that you might be interested in.


Position is important and if your Top is not driving the situation then don’t be afraid to move around and get him where you want to go. Starting by sitting on top of him is a good way to begin if you are having trouble relaxing or experiencing pain. If you are on top you can control the angle and depth until you have loosened up enough to change positions.

Find a good lube.

Lube is important and a bad lube can ruin a hot session just as easily as forgetting to douche. Don’t be sucked in by cheap generics. If you are going to enjoy yourself then get the good stuff. Remember lube doesn’t just help him slide it in, it also helps him slide out and in and out and in and out and in. Everyone has a favourite, personally I like the silicon based Swiss Navy, if find the water based stuff tends to dry out and get sticky.

Move it, grind it, bounce it.

Moving around is important. Don’t be a starfish. One thing that drives a lot of Tops crazy is when the bottom pushes back to meet his thrusts. Don’t be afraid to be a little bit aggressive. If going doggy style arch your back to make your ass really pop, it also makes it easier for the Top to access you and  helps prevent those frustrating slip outs.

Grinding your hips is another great trick. If you are sitting on top and you grind it just right you can hit your prostate and clench your ass muscles at the same time to drive your Top nuts! Once the heat turns up and you are feeling in the swing of things go for the bounce but be careful not to go too far or too fast. Coming down too hard or letting him slip out is a sure way to cause an injury. Alternate the grind and bounce for a real treat.

Scratch, bite and moan.

You have arms… use them. Run your nails down his back ( gently, we aren’t getting all Wolverine on him… yet ), pull him into you to show him you want it. Nibble on his ear, neck and arms, be gentle, it’s not a Twilight rerun. If you like something the easiest way to let a guy know is to moan, softly, loudly, whatever…  you will know what’s appropriate.


Keeping things neat and tidy down there will help keeps things running smoothly. You don’t have to be hairless, every top will have their own preference. Try to avoid shaving right before sex though. Apart from the health risks of cuts, stubble can also cause chaffing to your Tops equipment while causing ingrown hairs and stubble rash to you. A good lube helps avoid this but it’s worth mentioning.

It’s sex, not porn.

If you are new to Sex and to Bottoming remember that Sex is fun but it is also messy and awkward at times. The best thing is to know your limits and approach it with a sense of humour. Sure double penetration looks hot on Corbin Fisher but it’s probably not something you want to try for your first time. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that if you can’t take it like a porn star then you are no good. Focus on what you find pleasurable and on what your partner enjoys and you can’t really go wrong.

There is a lot more that I haven’t covered but I think half the fun is discovering it all for yourself. Get out there, play safe and have one for me hehe.

If you’re keen to be a better top check out this blog post.

Happy fucking blog buddies.


  • Martin

    I can’t agree that douching is either necessary or healthy and just want to register that.

    • tyrus

      The douching debate is endless, but most would agree that there needs to be some sort of preparation before anal play, and there is a big difference between enemas and douching which should not be confused. Daily enemas are definitely not recommended by health professionals for overall colon health, but the colt douche is a great alternative. It should be fine as long as you just use lukewarm water with no soap or other skin irritants and try not to use it every single day. This will allow the mucus that your colon produces naturally to return for regular colon health.

      • mike128

        I don’t think “most would agree”. I’ve never been with a top who wanted me to douche, or had a preference for that. Most have thought it was a ridiculous idea when I’ve asked about it, and that it sorta kills the spontaneity of sex. I know that there are others who feel differently, but I don’t believe that I’m in a minority when I say that douching is really not necessary.

        • Guest

          Douching isn’t really necessary. So long as you’ve had a recent bowel movement you’ll be fine. I’ve never douched, and I’ve bottomed more times than I care to count. No complaints, plenty of repeat customers 😉

          • Keir

            Agreed. On the one hand, I’m always worried that I’m not going to be clean enough, but on the other hand, I’ve always been a bottom and no one’s complained, again, “plenty of repeat customers”.

        • DON SHUMAN

          I found that eating lots of fiber helps me to have less mess

    • Chuckles

      Have fun getting shit on his dick

  • mike128

    I agree. I dont find douching to be necessary or even helpful. I don’t think everyone does it, and not douching does not mean you will have an accident or be “dirty”.

    • Chrisie

      Not douching would worry the fuck out of me!

    • Ivan

      Depends on the diet.

  • keith

    perhaps i missed it, but i don’t think that you mentioned safe sex as part of your “how to…” seems like a very important of the experience….

    • Shannon Boh

      “Get out there, play safe and have one for me hehe.”

    • Ivan

      Or don’t sleep around (Relationship) so you don’t have to use condom.

  • SteveMN

    Sorry for being so harsh, but …

    How to be a better bottom?

    It is one thing to give yourself away, but quite another to throw yourself away. Try to avoid the greedy bastards, they make terrible lovers.

    Have fun, but play safe.

    If you can’t play safe, then find alternatives. There is a wide spectrum of activity between staying home and top/bottom. If you are in a circumstance where you can’t top/bottom safely, then explore the many alternatives, and if your partner isn’t OK with that, then likely he is one of the greedy bastards you need to avoid.

    Shannon posted a blog on the wide range of alternatives.

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  • Ray

    very informative. Thank you.

  • nickf

    Just love him.I hope my guy loves me.

  • Shaun Kallis

    Thanx guys for the tips.
    Im a small build bottom and not all sexual encounters I encounter are enjoyable. Clearly Im doing something wrong. Thanx for setting me str8. Mwa be safe