His body is better than mine, my body is better than his, his body is better than that guys, he has the best body. But what exactly makes a body better?
A blog reader recently asked me a question on Formspring that included the line, “even though I feel more comfortable in my own body I am still nervous around men with better bodies”.
The truth is that we are constantly bombarded in the media and Gay culture with images of men with “better bodies” but the whole thing is a fantasy because everybody has their own individual preference. We all look for different things. We are all attracted to some degree, to different things.
A man who likes slim built guys will say a slim guy has a better body than a muscle mary, a man who likes muscle boys will say a gym bunny has a better body than a skinny Twink. A man who likes Twinks will say that Twinks have better bodies than Jocks. It’s all subjective.
You will never have a perfect body because even if you were perfectly proportioned, had a perfect arms, eyes, pecs, and bubble butt it is human nature to look at what we have and want more. The simple truth is that until we accept that we will never have the “best body” the sooner we will realise that we are already perfect, flaws and all. It sounds like a bit of a round robin way to think, but it is true.
Ask the guy in the gym with a better body than yours and he will also be looking around the gym at guys he thinks have better bodies than his, who are also looking around the gym at guys they think have better bodies than themselves… It’s madness.
Picture yourself in a night club. You are not attracted to every guy in the club, neither is every guy in the club attracted to you. It doesn’t mean you think they are ugly, nor does it mean they all think you are. We are all simply looking for and attracted to different things.
So what exactly makes a body better?
The answer is simple… personal preference. Yes if you want to have amazing pecs then you will look at somebody with better pecs than yours and say “he has a better body”, but what is more important is realising that there are millions of guys out there who would love you just the way you are. Beating yourself up for not looking a certain way because you think you should look that way is the result of billions of advertising dollars all designed to make you feel exactly the way you are feeling in order to sell you gym memberships, eye cream, low fat frozen yoghurt and all the other random garbage that play on your insecurities.
leave the comparisons to anthropologists who are going to dig you up in 1000 years time. Life is too short to be constantly worried about keeping up with the Jones’s, let alone trying to keep up with their personal trainer as well.
Love yourself first and you will always have the better body. Start by loving your body and treating it better. Take it out for a walk or a run occasionally, put premium fuel in it instead of killing if with junk food and start to give it a little TLC. Having a better body is as much about how you treat it as how it looks. Living an active lifestyle is as much about feeling good and feeling healthy as it is about looking better.
Lastly realise that we all aspire, we all want more and we all think we can improve. There is nothing wrong with that except when we do it because we think that others will think we are not good enough. You are already enough. Love yourself.