Masculinity, sexual power and stereotypes.

I was recently asked, in the Gay world do we perceive the Bottom as less masculine than the Top?

This is a good question. Gender roles and sexual preferences ( in the context of tops and bottoms ) are an interesting topic. There are so many variables, that to cover everything would be almost impossible. I can however speak from my own experience and hopefully be able to give some insight in to just how complex and dynamic this subject is. Firstly I would make the point that the idea that the “Top” is more masculine than the “Bottom” is based on a broader cultural expectation that the “Male” partner is more dominant that the “Female” partner. Gay Culture has adopted this perception of role identity and adapted it to mean the receptive partner is taking on the female role and is therefore the less masculine partner. This is not true. It also makes the assumption that to be Masculine you need be dominant which is also not true.

Firstly I am versatile, but whether I Top or Bottom depends very much on the dynamic of the relationship I have with my partner or partners. Generally speaking if a guy is younger or physically smaller than me then I prefer to Top. If a guy is Taller, physically stronger or older than me then I tend to prefer to bottom. The sexual dynamic is very much dependant on whether I feel like the dominant or submissive partner ( a whole other can of worms ), this however does not mean that I feel any less masculine. Just because I am going to bottom doesn’t mean I throw on a pair of Woman’s knickers, nor does being the Top mean I will start snorting and growing a beard.

I know muscle boys who love getting pounded by Twinks, this has nothing to do with how masculine they are.

Masculinity in the GLBTI community is something that has become a fetish as much as anything else. Body hair, tattoos ripped bods and a rough nature have all been adopted by Gay men as signs of masculinity. But this superficial sense of what masculinity is does not reflect their preference for being a Top or Bottom. Indeed how would you even know from looking at them? You only need to look around to see how many rugged bottoms are out there who would be judged “Masculine” by these standards.

Lets be less worried about being masculine and be more worried about being genuine.