>I’m putting out.

>

So most of you will know that I am single and that lately I have been more and more aware of the fact that I want to meet somebody. The search for a boyfriend seems to be a theme that keeps popping up more and more in my day to day life.

I am a firm believer that it will happen when I am ready and that the right person is out there for me, but as time goes on it is not always easy to be philosophical.

About two months ago I sat down and took a moment to tell the universe what I wanted. I was sitting in the sound booth at the dance comp and I pulled out my diary and opened to a fresh page.

On this page I scribbled a triangle and at each point wrote, Universe, Me, and Boyfriend.

I wrote down all the qualities that I was looking for, what I wanted from the Universe and what I would do keep up my end of the bargain.

The problem is that I haven’t really been doing my part. I’ve been looking but at the same time I’ve been sitting at home on my couch, and not really putting myself out there. I have noticed lately that my confidence has not been high. It’s been too comfortable on my couch tapping away on Grindr.

Even hooking up has lost it’s lustre as I begin to look for something more. Random encounters though fun, fail to really satisfy me emotionally.

Today I spent a loverly day at the pool with a few mates and some friends of my housemate. We were all lying there on the grass and I was checking out this cute guy who was part of our group. Did I have the guts to say hi?  No.

I felt a little bit awkward. To be honest there are often times when I feel like I am on the periphery of the activity around me. I sort of hover around the edges. Despite my online exhibitionism I am quite shy sometimes, particularly around people I do not know.

After lazing around the pool I was invited to a BBQ by my housemate. I had been planning a nice lazy night on my couch again, watching a movie and then having an early night. My housemate reminded me that I should get up and get out if I want to meet new people if I want to meet someone special. Thank you housemate.

So I arrived at the BBQ and although I was a little shy I did have a really nice time chatting to some friends and reconnecting with some people who I do not normally get the chance to see. If I don’t get out there and meet new people how can the universe possibly put Mr right on a collision course with me?

You see it’s not enough for me to ask the Universe for Mr right and then hide in my lounge-room. How can true love find me unless I step out in to the light?

So thank you housemate for the gentle kick in the butt and thank you Universe for lining up such a wonderful day to remind me what I am missing out on.

You can be assured that I will be putting myself out the a lot more from now on.

x