>Gay 101. Your first sleep over.

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Lately I have been getting a lot of questions from first timers so to add to the advice on douching (see formspring) I thought I would offer some light advice on what items you should have stowed in your backpack for your first sleep over at his place.

The essentials…

1. Toothbrush. Oral hygiene is something we can all appreciate. After a nice dinner and a cuddle on the couch, grab the chance to sneak away for a quick brush, which will leave you feeling confident and fresh. Make sure you check that your toothbrush is fairly new. Your squeeze won’t be impressed by a hairy, toothpaste encrusted, half masticated chew toy sitting on the edge of his sink.

Handy tip… avoid commitment chills by leaving your toothpaste at home and using his.

*** Important. Some studies suggest that the risk of HIV infection is increased by brushing your teeth immediately before sex. Brushing or flossing can cause cuts and abrasions in the mouth. If you are concerned by this then pack some mints or breath strips instead. 

2. Deodorant. Speaking for myself, I am a roll-on kinda guy and the idea of using somebody else’s roll-on brings a little bit of vomit to the back of my throat. Worst still is finding that your partner only uses one of those new age salt stones or no deodorant at all. Considering all the sweating and physical activity that the evening is going to hopefully bring, packing your own deodorant will ensure that you smell fresh and clean after the inevitable shower(s).

3. The condom(s). Two or three is enough. Showing up with a wholesale box of 100 rubbers will probably send the wrong message to your man about your reasons for being there. Nobody complains when a night on the couch turns into the sexual olympics but you don’t want to look too easy. If the night turns a bit sexy you will be glad you thought ahead or if his condoms turn out to be too small or even worse too big.

4. Lube. Again leave the 40 gallon drum at home. A small hand pump is enough to get you through the night and can be hidden discretely away in your backpack. I prefer a good silicon based lube myself like the Swiss navy, Gun oil or Pjur brands.

5. Emergency numbers. Not to rain on your night but incase things turn a bit sour having a few cab numbers handy can make life a lot easier.

The extras…

1. The Digital camera. This one is a dangerous one. Just remember that although your bubble butt might look amazing on camera pumping away, a night of kinky fun could turn into a total disaster if your passion ends up on the internet. Still if you fancy yourself as a bit of a Paris Hilton make sure you have a good Fragrance and bad Record Single to follow it up with. Ps. Send me a copy too.

2. Ear Plugs. Sure the sex might be amazing but his snoring could ruin the after glow of even the most passionate nights love making. Ear plugs are cheap and could save you from disaster.

The don’ts…


1. The wardrobe. Don’t show up at his place with a weeks worth of clothing. Your only staying the night and the fastest way to give your man the commitment chills is to show up at his place for your first sleep over ready to divide up his closet place.

2. The mobile phone. Ok so its virtually impossible to go anywhere nowadays without our phones but there is nothing worse than being on a date and watching your man sit their sending texts to his friends or even worse Grindr, and the same goes for you. Put the phone on silent, nothing kills the mood faster than stopping mid stroke to answer your phone. If it’s important, your friends will leave a message.

3. The Fag hag. Don’t do it… JUST DON’T DO IT!

Hopefully these tips will help you to make your first sleepover a night to remember. The main thing is to have fun and enjoy yourself. Don’t over think things because it will only happen once… with this guy anyways 😉