Today was the 17th annual Pride March here in Melbourne and despite the capricious weather Melbourne’s GLBTI community came out in what can only be described as a rainbow of diversity.

The Parade and the subsequent party were much the same as always until I stumbled upon a tent showcasing sex toys and fetish gear.

What caught my eye and a good portion of the crowds attention was a machine that looked like something from the latest Terminator movie gyrating slowly with a rather limp looking clear pink dildo stuck to the end.

I am assuming that even the most sheltered person will not need an explanation as to what this machine does once they have watched the video. In this age of technology where things like spell checkers, remote controls and smart phones are making us lazier and lazier I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw this and imagined what it would be like to use such a machine.

“Now thats just plain lazy” I said to my friends. Guys (and Gals) put the machine away! Not only is a good old wank great for the biceps but it’s also a great cardio work out.

Wanking can also be a social event as the the group “The Melbourne Wankers” can attest to. Imagine a world of empty clubs, tumble weeds blowing through dark rooms, and glow stick sellers going out of business while Gay men everywhere are locked in wild abandon with mechanical penises unable to release themselves because their small arms.

Lie down I say! Lie down, rub one out for manual labor and don’t let the machines win!