>There has been a lot of talk in the media lately about gay marriage and recent changes to laws around the world allowing gays to marry (when I use the term “gays” I refer to the entire GLBTI community).
All around the world activists are challenging the establishment and fighting for the right to marry but really what are we fighting for?
Let me first say that I don’t believe in gay marriage.
Before I am shouted down, have to change addresses and disconnect my phone let me explain why.
Marriage as I see it is a religious covenant made between a man and a woman. It is a tradition that comes in many different forms and that for whatever reason it was conceived has been a corner stone of many cultures since the discovery of fire. I do not believe that forcing religious institutions to give up the tenements of their faith no matter how backward we may see them as being is the right way to approach this issue.
I do not believe it is fair to force others to change their beliefs simply because we do not agree or because they have something we want.
Equality and tolerance are for everyone not just those who believe the same things we do.
This is not to say that I would disagree with a gay couple getting married and I would certainly not stand in their path. Each person has the right to choose his or her own destiny.
I believe that the gay community has every right to expect equal treatment and recognition under the law when it comes to our relationships. I believe that our relationships are every bit as loving and as valid as any heterosexual relationship. I believe we are entitled to the same rights that heterosexual couples are entitled too.
One of the things I find most beautiful about the idea of making a commitment to another person that will be binding and life long is that as a gay man I am not bound by the social and religious conventions of marriage. My relationship with my partner, myself and my spiritual beliefs are my own. I believe that gives me the chance to come up with a commitment that is truly reflective of me and my partner. I don’t need to stand up before a crowd to declare my love, although I understand that many people will want to share that love with family and friends.
There are those of us for whom religion is an important part of life and who will want the blessing of those religious orders whom they respect, this I can understand. To those people I would only say that I believe you don’t need a building or a priest in order to hold your God in your heart.
Making a commitment to another is not about ceremonies and cakes, dresses and sermons. It is not about fanfare or cheering, gilded carriages and fancy clothes. It is about standing alone with them in the dark and saying I will be here for you always.
Whatever your beliefs I hope that you all find love and that your journey carries you in the directions you desire.